Lost Inside
by oliviasaundersxx
Summary: Cam is sick. Really, Really sick, but the only people that know are the people that are keeping his deadly secret for him. Will cam be able to save himself... from himself?
1. Chapter 1

**hey guys! i absolutely love degrassi so i'm making a Cam Fanfic, Cam's story really hit close to home considering My bestfriend lost her brother to suicide. Although degrassi's ending for Cam was completely amazing, and tearful. I decided mine would be different, xox bye. **

_Cam._

I walked through the halls of my school, My arms we're stinging under the red ice hounds sweater i was wearing, coated with cuts I shivered at the thought of what I had just did to myself. I was snapped out of my thoughts by a smiling-familiar-face.

"Cam! Why didn't you text me back this morning, Katie was giving me a ride and said she would drive you to" She says beaming.

I glance down then try to think of a excuse.

"I-uh.. my phone died.. " I mutter. It's not like I could say 'Oh sorry Maya, I was to busy cutting my wrists like the **freak **I am.'

She nods her head then glances down, her eyes look pained and I furrow my eyes in confusion.

"Cam, I really needed to tell you something," she whispers.

_oh great, _I think. "C'mon Maya, what is it?" I ask impatiently.

She puts her hand on my shoulder.

"When- Uh- When we broke up... I-I...Cam, I kissed Zig" She rambles.

I stare, my eyes widening. I shrugged her hand off my shoulder and back away. "I can't.. Maya, I'm done!" I yell. Concerned glances from other students we're shot my way as I stumbled off.

_she cheated on me. she cheated on me. she hates me. i'm a freak. i should die. maya would be better off without me._

Thoughts we're running through my head as I ran to the roof, jumbled and confusing I pushed the door open letting out a loud scream as it slammed behind me.

I reached for a small box in my pocket, slipping the lid off I took out a small blade. I placed it gently against my arm, and pulled it across. A line of blood appeared and started dripping down. I started doing it over and over again, my arms coated in blood I walked to the edge of the roof, I started to lean forward when I heard a loud crash. Turning around I saw two of the last people I expected to be up here looking for me.

_Dallas and Luke._

"Cam..stop..." Whispered Dallas inching forward.

"No, why should I? This world would be better off _without_ me." I whisper.

"Why shouldn't you?.. You have all these people in you're life, The rest of the team, you're family!" Yells Luke.

"It's too late anyways." I whisper turning around and beginning to push my self forward, when suddenly I fell to the roofs ground, ontop of me was Luke.

I tried fighting back, but soon fell limp. Sighing in defeat I let a few tears fall.

I push my back against the roofs ledge, Luke and Dallas sat on either side of me.

"Cam..." starts Dallas.

Luke removes his sweater and hands it to me.

I glance up confused and see that mine was laying on the ground, soaked in blood. Hastily, I took it and slid it on.

"Don't tell anybody.." I whisper, breaking down. I could see Luke and Dallas exchange glances.

"We won't..." I sigh in relief. "As long," _here we go._ "As long, as you don't do this" He says nodding towards my arms. "Again."

I think about it, then nod. "How'd you know I was here anyways?" I ask.

...They glance at each other again, then point towards the door, which was know open, showing a nervous looking Ali Bendari.

"She saw you run up here and got nervous, came to me and i got Luke" He says.

I nod my head then stand up, Luke and Dallas follow and lead me out.

"We're going back to my house, Okay Rookie?" Whispers Dallas as he walks out of the school, beside me, is luke and Ali trailing behind.

"I could've died"

_i wish i died. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! got a lot of positive feedback on my first chapter! Has anybody seen the Cam Saunders videos on youtube? Yeah, well i watch them well writing and it really helps with imagining what I'm writing, so, if you're stuck and want some inspiration, then thats my tip! YEP. So Comment below some stuff you want to happen and I'll give you're ideas credit above the chapter, thankss. & also please comment you're thoughts on this..:) xox **

_Cam._

We entered Dallas's house, I looked around observing a small modern kitchen a few closed doors and a small staircase leading to the basement. I followed Luke, Ali & Dallas down the stairs and plopped down on the couch, avoiding eye contact.

"So Cam... do you want me to...uh.. bandage those up?" Asked Ali quietly. I nodded, She stood up and walked towards the bathroom. After the door had closed, Dallas sat up and leaned towards me; "Rookie, We can't not talk about it..." he started. I closed my eyes trying to shut they're voices out. "You just tried to throw yourself off the roof of the school and now you won't even speak!" He yelled balling his fists up. Luke stood up and placed his hand on Dallas's shoulder.

"Dallas, he is going through a lot, maybe he... he just can't find the words to say" He said sounding sad. Dallas face softened and he sat down rubbing the back of his neck, Letting out a long annoyed sigh. Luke glanced at my with pity, he walked over to the stairs and sat down burying his face in his hands.

Ali walked out of the room carrying a first aid kit, her eyes glanced confused at the 3 of us, then brushed it off, continuing to walk over to me.

I watched in horror as Ali pulled up my sleeve exposing my arm, dried blood coated it and the cuts were red around and deep, Her eyes widened and she reached her hand up to cover her mouth.

Already catching the attention of Dallas and Luke they came up behind but Ali, nervously I tried to pull my sleeve down before they could see the cuts but it was too late. They're faces we're now matching Ali's.

_I am so done with this. _

"Whoa, Cam, these cuts are old, how _long_ have you been doing this?" Asked Luke.

"A month, _Luke._" I spit out. Standing up angrily. Luke stepped back in surprise.

"_Jesus Christ" _he muttered under his breath._  
_

I let out a exasperated sigh and start to walk away.

"What are you doing?" Dallas asked.

"Leaving?" I said aggravatedly.

"Cam, You can stay tonight! We can game, watch movies?..Talk" Said Dallas desperately, his face looking worn out and tired I decided I would stay the night and leave when _h_e fell asleep, which didn't seem like it would take that long considering it looked like he was about to fall asleep anyway.

"Fine, I'll stay.. but I have to tell my billet parents" I state and grab my cellphone out of my pocket, the screen lighted and I saw the long row of nervous texts from Maya and one from Tori.

I dialed the house number and explained what I was doing for the night. After reassuring them I would show up for school tomorrow they agreed and I hung up the phone, looking down at the time it read 7:53.

Ali left, giving each of us a hug then wiping her own tear filled eyes and exiting the room. Dallas, on instinct ran to the couch and sat down, grabbing the controls he threw the other two to Luke and I.

Sitting side by side we moved our controls yelling at the TV, our laughs we're interrupted by a light knocking on the door behind us. My head whipped over to the clear glass door.

_shit. _I think my eyes widening as I spot the skinny blonde figure of a girl standing at the door a angry expression on her face.

Pulling my sleeves down I glance at Luke and Dallas's faces.

They nodded they're heads, pushing me forward I walked towards the door, opening it, I slid outside. The cold air nipped at my cheeks.

"Hey, Ma-" I stopped talking when I saw her tear streaked face, bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks. "What happened?" I ask curiously.

She sniffles the looked up, "Cam, You happened!" She whisper/yelled.

I stare blankly at her then realize she's talking about me breaking up with her.

"Maya," I start, but stand silently, aware of the fact that I have nothing to say. "Maya, I think.." I start again, "I think we should, take a break, figure ourselves and just go from there.." I say, my voice quivering. Her face sinks and she drops down, sobs coming out.

"Maya, It's okay" I say leaning down. "It's just temporary" I whisper.

She abruptly stands up then looks me in the eyes. "Cam, I don't want this to be over- not even if it's temporary."

"_well,Maya_, _we don't always get what we want."_


End file.
